


Loving Will Hurt

by I_Wonder



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Character Death, F/F, F/M, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-15 17:14:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18503440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Wonder/pseuds/I_Wonder
Summary: Inspired by a fic I read but it didn't play out how I wanted. Some tweaks and many late nights later....She was Clarke's everything and Clarke was her's. One stupid mistake later and the weddings off and Clarke is alone left will one last choice.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Fight for Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9789137) by [littlecupcake7](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlecupcake7/pseuds/littlecupcake7). 



Clarke's POV

2 days ago I had the perfect life. A wedding in four months with a woman I adored set to marry me, I had a job I loved and a family. Now all I have is half a bottle Rosé, a broken heart, a ring that belonged on someone else's finger, a file and some broken furniture. The explosive destruction that caused all of this chaos began 4 hours ago... 

I had just come out of an aortic valve replacement surgery and honestly I just wanted Lexa. These passed few weeks had been a struggle; she had just been promoted at her law firm so her case load had exponentially increased and well being the head of surgery at Trikru State Hospital always provided uneasy hours and an unpredictable schedule. Unfortunately my work wasn't over yet - on the list today was to break my entire world. I had been procrastinating for too long and if I didn't do it now then I wouldnt have the chance. I don't want to do it and there is no logical reason to but logic was thrown out the window way before today. I flicked my wrist and checked my watch, my Father had given it to me before his last deployment and he never needed it back because he never returned to ask. The hands read 3:07, just in time. Dr Finn Collins turned around the corner and I dialed Lexa's number on my phone before sliding it into my back pocket. This was going to hurt. Dr Finn Collins was only a few months older than me and specialised in orthotics, he was easy on the eyes and had been flirting with me non stop for the past 3 years. Each previous time I had shut him down immediately -I am happily engaged to Lexa the love of my life. Soon that little fact will prove to be untrue if my plan worked. Finn looked as cocky as he always did - his crooked, supposedly charming smirk plastered on his face and a mischievous sparkle danced around his eyes. Internally I groaned but this needed to be done. He advanced with a spring his step as per usual. I rolled my eyes but flashed a smile to keep my cover. By now Lexa would have picked up. He smiled down at me and said in a smooth voice akin to silk(seduction was an art he was skilled in, when the girls he hit on weren't gay as fuck) "You, Me dinner Friday night and little fun after what do you say?" I tipped my head down gagged, sighed, stabbed myself in the heart then looked up and replyed with as much fake happiness as I could muster "Of course Dr Collins, pick me up at 8? Lexa should be at the office all night." He smirked brighter than I'd ever seen. "Darling, for you anything." With that sentence, a wink and a quick peck to my cheek he was gone. I sighed and walked to the locker rooms to get changed and to say goodbye to everyone. I had handed in my resignation a few weeks ago, technically today was my last day and only a few people knew. Dr Collins and my entire family and friends were not included on that list. It was a very, very selective list. It mostly contained a few nurses I had bonded with and Marcus Kane (the Head of the entire hospital). 

I cried the entire drive home. I tried bracing my self for the no doubt terrible enslaught of pain that was about to ensue. I couldn't- but it was crucial that my cover was maintained so I waited in the car before getting out and took the moments to reapply my make up."And done" I whispered to myself monotonely - now it looked like I was the heartless bitch ready to ditch my perfect life. I stepped out of my blue susuki swift and I opened the door to Lexa and I's home. It was dark. The light of a lamp in our bedroom upstairs was all the light that permeated the entire house. Bits of broken furniture were scattered everywhere and by the door I just entered sat two suitcases and a duffle bag.

"Babe, I'm home, " each word cut and clawed at my facade, "Honey are you okay?" 

I stalked up the stairs and reached our room. She lay there on our bed looking as gorgeous as ever. Her slender, tanned legs were crossed, just like her arms were. Her tribal tattoo clear as ever in her black tank top. She sat in a protective position but it was clear she was ready to bolt at any second. The only thing that obscured the beautiful picture of my fiancée was the tear tracks and red rimmed eyes. She dared not look at me, instead she preferred a point past my body, her voice was small as she spoke and sounded nothing like the brave, suave, sexy lady I love, "That's all you have to say to me? Am I okay?" With her last notes she snapped her head up to meet my eyes. A small strangled gasp escaped my throat before I could remain in my stoic mask of indifference. Her once breathtaking eyes that reminded me the forest where she proposed were no longer full of mirth and light. No- now they were dull and lifeless. I had caused this. I won't be able to fix this, definitely no backing out now and no redemption story.

"I heard your little conversation with Dr Collins," she spat as though his name were poison on her plumb lips, "you really are a master a butt dials and breaking hearts," She had no idea. " How could you after everything we've been through? After all I did for you, with you and to you? My parents were right you only led to the fucking end of me. Congratulations you achieved what Nia couldn't." A large gasp of air was taken in my both of us. For me it was to deal with the pain but for my lover it was to calm her." How long has he been in your bed, huh?"

I remained silent, I couldn't trust myself to not blurt out the truth and be done with this entire shit show. 

" How fucking long Clarke? 2 weeks? 6 months? A year? How long have you been fucking the ever magnificent Dr Finn Collins while you lied about loving me? "

I bent my head as tears began to stream down my face, ruining the mascara I had just applied. Each syllable she spoke chipped more of my heart and resolve away. 

" You're not even going to defend yourself? Talk to me, fight with me. Do something, say something." Her voice cracked and she began to sob. 

I inhaled sharply and looked her in the eyes- probably for the last time. "It's for the best Lexa." 

She fumbled for her words and looked dumbstruck as she floundered " It's for the fucking best huh? No. No it isn't. This is." With that she grabbed her ring and threw it at me, it missed by miles her aim must've been off due to the tears clouding her eyes, and she stormed downstairs. I followed with her name silent on my cracked lips. All I wanted was to bring her back tell her every detail but she needed to be protected, this truly was for the best only she would never know the exact meaning. With an anger like I have never seen her to exert she roughly opened the door and grabbed her bag and cases. She paused momentarily and tilted her head slightly over her shoulder to deliver her final message, it was sharp and cold and most likely matched how her heart would feel from now on  
"I'm going to stay with Raven and Anya for a few days, when I get back you will be gone, your set of keys will be sitting on the island in the kitchen and it will be like you never existed in this house. May we never meet again Clarke." With those final words she stormed out of the house and stole my car into the night taking my last chance at anything real with her. 

I ran down the last of stairs and ripped open the fridge and pulled out every bottle of alcohol it contained. I had finally done it. Killed my entire life just as Jaha and Titus requested. I downed the last of my second bottle and started on my third.Before I could finish it, however, the anger inside me bubbled up and I couldn't control it anymore. I broke everything I could find, including several of my knuckles after sending a particularly nasty right hook towards the stone pillar by the stairs. My fight was gone. A tornado looked like it passed through the house. I slid down the wall and cried grasping tightly at the half empty bottle of rosé. The file Jaha and Titus gave me weeks ago now sat on the broken remains of my desk, I had a choice to make but I already knew the answer. After all My fight was over.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well you guys have given an unexpected response to the first chapter so here's the next. Also guess there's just a quick disclaimer here: all that's mine is the plot line.

Clarke's POV

The next day.... 

I felt as though I was tainted like spilt ink or paint on a canvas. I hated every aspect of myself at the very moment. My bags were packed ready to ship out tonight. I never intended to actually go on the date with Dr Collins tomorrow but everyone believes I will so they won't be worried for a while. Right now I'm heading over to Raven and Anya's place, Lexa was staying there and there was supposed to be a gang get together tonight for Octavia's birthday. I was sat in the back of a crusty uber, all I had on me was a large ruck sack, Octavia's present and the details for my conscription in the file so graciously gifted to me by Jaha and Titus.

Around a month ago Genera l Jaha and Major Fleimkepa approached me saying they had information about my Father and the mysterious circumstances of his death. At first I believed them to be harmless - a good samaritan if you will. Their true colours were soon revealed and they gave me an ultimatum - - 

My revelry was broken by the uber pulling up outside my destination. My driver nodded aand said he'd wait for no longer than 8 minutes. I steeled my nerves, grabbed the envelope that contained Octavia's present and made my way to the red door. I fiddled with my watch strap out of nervous habit. My hands were sweating, my heart beating frantically and my stomach twisted. It was as though I was meeting Lexa for the first time again.

4 years previously.... 

I was dressed elegantly in a teal full length dress that tightly clung to all of my features. Atop my blonde curls sat a crown of white roses. Today was finally the day my best friend, Raven, was getting married to her girlfriend Anya Woods. I'd met Anya a few times-she's a bit closed off and cold to others but with Raven it was the complete opposite. Octavia and I stood diligently beside Raven, we were her maids of honor and we have been waiting to see her this happy for 18 years. We had grown up together as the Holy trinity of trouble makers and eventually went to the Ark (one of the best schools in the entire country aside from Polis University). Raven has been dreaming of her big, slightly queer wedding since she discovered her pansexuality when we were 13 and she had a crush on Wick, the local gender fluid kid. Today she stood high and mighty in a knee length red dress and held a bouquet of white roses in her hands. Soon the traditional first notes of the bridal chorus echoed in the Trikru ascension Hall. In stepped Anya, Raven's bride dressed in a crisp white suit followed by her siblings Lincoln and Alexandra. Her siblings were also dressed in suits but they opted for a velvet, emerald suit to match the traditions of their family's culture and had red tulips pinned to their lapels . I didn't hear what was going on for the entire service, my eyes stuck glued to Alexandra. Her caramel waves cascaded down the left side of her face. Giving me perfect access to stare at the beautiful arches, curves and dips of her face. I loved the female body - it was the most beautiful to sketch, paint, doodle. Sometimes I really wished I became and artist like my Dad and I wanted but Mother always wanted to give me a "practical education" first. It was very hard to look away, gradually I gave up and stopped trying to tear my gaze away. She commanded my entire attention and I believed her soul resonated with mine. Briefly my focus broke as I heard thunderous applause and cheers, turning quickly towards my right I smiled brightly Anya and Raven were locked tightly as they kissed for the first time as wife and wife. I cheered and whistled along with the crowd. After savouring the picture of the newly weds (I'd hoped to paint a picture of the two of them for their new house later) I turned my attention back to Alexandra only to find a faint pink tint to her cheeks and beautiful forest eyes staring back at me. I was a bit embarrassed at being caught but right now I couldn't care less my head was spinning, my heart pounding, my palms were becoming sweaty and my stomach twisted into a nervous flutter. I smiled bright, wide and without shame; she quirked her eyebrow and chuckled before offering her arm for me to grasp. 

In a very sexy husk she whispered " You coming Princess?" 

The rest of the night flew by, Lexa (Alexandra's preferred title - but I had taken to calling her Commander) and I hadn't separated once and I had seen Octavia and Lincoln getting along with ease. Lincoln was normally a man of few words but for him and Octavia their non-verbak communication was enough. The Commander and I exchanged numbers and promises of more time together. 

Before Noon the day after Anya and Raven's wedding our first date occurred and since then the rest was history. 

 

To the present. Raven's POV 

Lexa had turned up late last night and broken down into her sister's arms. I sat and listened to my sister-in-law's story. I was astonished and quite frankly almost as hurt as Lexa, this didn't sound like the Clarke I know and love. I sent a quick group text to the rest of the gang, giving them a heads up that the Clexa wedding was off indefinitely and to act distantly with Clarke if she showed up today. 

Today the gang were all chatting and laughing, all heavily intoxicated-Lexa most of all. Our laughter was cut short by a knock to the door, the atmosphere grew thick and uncertain; only one person could be at the door. I, being the most sober of all of us, stood up and walked over to door. I braced my back against the door, swallowing a few deep gulps of air before I turned and opened the it. 

"Clarke." I spoke as harshly as I dared and gave her the best blank face I could. She looked awful. Her cheeks were sullen and pale her eyes were gaunt and guarded. Her hand was bandaged and her forearms appeared bruised she held an envelope in her hands and clasped it close to her chest. Behind me I could feel another presence I hoped it was my wife and not her sister, this did not need to happen today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any guesses on some of the hidden references? If you guys have any questions or constructive criticism then please let me know! If you have any guesses of where I am going with the story please guess. 
> 
> May we meet again--Wonder


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're almost at the juicy bits. Sorry for the tension and 'delicious torture' I had to set it up properly. Also I'm sorry for any mistakes or variations in chapter lengths, this process is harder than it looks.
> 
> Plot line is mine, most of the 21st century 100 setting is mine as well but that's about it.

Clarke's POV 

So far this entire interaction with the gang was going better than expected - I'd only been slapped once by every member. Lincoln at first had reservations but I told him to do it. He sat pensive and still, remaining the perfect gentleman for a few more minutes but eventually he caved. Lexa sat in the farthest corner her back faced away from me. Each time a resounding slap could be heard she flinched, selfishly I relished in that fact. It proved that I may have a small glimpse at hope of life again in the future. Anya slapped me as soon as Raven finished talking she attempted again but Bellamy and Lincoln restrained her. She broke free quickly and tackled me to the floor. Which is why I now sport a split lip and bruised neck.

We sat in a tense silence for almost twenty minutes. I couldn't bare it much longer after that. I squared off my shoulders and set my jaw. I inhaled in for 7 counts then exhaled for 6 - a little trick Lexa taught me when I was anxious, stressed, angry; the trick suited a lot of situations. I lifted my gaze from my feet and steeled my eyes. I couldn't fail now. I had come so far. Just 3 more hours and 7 minutes. Only 5 on my uber.

"I just came by to say Happy Birthday Ocatavia, hope you like the present." I stood up quickly and tried to act nonchalant. "Also, I-I... I'm leaving. Don't worry about me. You guys don't have to deal with me for a long time."

That raised a few eyebrows and in my peripheral I saw Lexa shift her weight.

Bellamy was the one to voice their opinions. "Slow down Clarke. What do you mean you're leaving?"

I sighed, I was almost at breaking point again. " I don't think it's healthy for me to stay so I'm going far away, most likely for a long time."

"Where are you going? What about your Mum? What about your job? What about us?" piped up Ocatavia.

"If I told you I wouldn't be gone, I would just be on vacation. My Mum doesn't know a thing and she's too hooked on drugs to notice me leaving. My job has been sorted and as for you guys..... You guys are my family but I can never come back from this. You guys are better off without 'the master of butt dials and heart brakes' around. It's for the best"

That phrase caused Lexa to stiffen before she replied in a cracked and hollow voice "Well I think you should be off. Don't want to keep your uber waiting."

I but my tongue so I could reply. Saying I love, I will always love you would definitely not help the current situation. Instead I settled for and awkward wave and a "Yeah, umm see ya I guess" I paused before the door I had about two minutes left according to my watch. I swiveled round and took off the ring. It was a Woods family heirloom and it didn't belong on a Griffin. I handed it to Anya she would keep it safe until Lexa needed it again. She will love again, she has to - that's what's best for her. I sent one last longing look towards My once Commander and because I wasn't looking I tripped out of the door. I landed with a crack and lay on my side. I would feel that concussion later, right now I had to leave before I forced my stupid clumsy ass to make even more of a fucking fool out of myself. I scrambled quickly to the uber, so focused on leaving I didn't check back. If I had my path might've changed. It was too late by then.

I let a lone tear slip from my clouded eyes before turning to my driver and saying "Ton DC, Arkadia United Military base."

It was time to hold up my end of the bargain with Thelonius and Titus. 

 

Lexa's POV

I am a void, a black whole, I am empty. My life no longer held meaning. Its funny how in a matter of hours hwo one's life changes. A sentence is all it takes to kill. 

 

I could tell the group had their eyes trained on me; watching like a hunter would to prey. Clarke had left a few seconds ago, I wanted to remain strong and stable - like a Commander but I couldn't. I never could with Clarke. She had this natural charm that caused all logic to leave. She always claimed it to be "a Griffin thang". I just thought it was called been hopelessly in love. A loud thud and sharp crack pieced the air. I smirked slightly, Griffin was never really graceful. Despite what had transpired recently I gathered all my strength and went out to check on her. When I reached the scene Clarke was just getting up slowly, she had after all maintained several injuries in the last 24 hours. I remained transfixed in the doorway as I saw the car speed off without hesitation.

I sighed, deep and painful before breaking down and collapsing to the floor. This was going to hurt. Not even being in a toxic relationship with Nia Azkwin caused me to ache and burn like this. I screamed without a voice. I cried without emotion. I laughed without a soul. I let my demons go. Soon the entire gang surrounded me all in a group hug or shield to protect me like the Romans used to do in battle.

Sometime later I calmed down enough to re-enter the warmth of my sister's house. I stood up and used the pad of my thumbs to remove any remaining tears. I was about to turn around when my eyes caught something in the floor. Curiosity took over me and out of instinct I picked up the small, black object and inspected it carefully. It appeared to be a USB stick. The only problem was it held the insignia of the Arkadian armed forces. Why would Clarke have a government issued USB stick on her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you guys know the drill by now. Give me insights into your minds- opinions and constructive criticism all appreciated :)
> 
> May we meet again - - - Wonder
> 
> P. S Originally this chapter didn't include Lexa's POV but it looked a bit short so I saw an opportunity of a well-timed trip to expand.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're almost at the juicy bits. Sorry for the tension and 'delicious torture' I had to set it up properly. Also I'm sorry for any mistakes or variations in chapter lengths, this process is harder than it looks.
> 
> This one feels long but should explain a lot. 
> 
> Plot line is mine, most of the 21st century 100 setting is mine as well but that's about it.

Lexa's POV

I sat down on the sofa sandwiched between Anya and Lincoln. The USB stick sat atop the coffee table and the gang encircled it. It was almost as though we were worshipping the piece of government property. A million scenario's ran through my head along with thousands of questions that may never retain an answer. My patience was now running thin and Anya could tell. 

"Hey, Raven, honey could you grab the laptop from my office please?" I didn't lift my head to watch Raven leave, I instead threw a murderous death glare towards the little shit stick blaming it for Clarke's betrayal. 

"Hey, budge up a bit will ya'?" Raven murmured upon her arrival. She then sat snugly between Lincoln and I. Like the professionals she is she picked up the USB with ease and plugged it in. On the laptop popped the Arkadia Military insignia before displaying a screen asking for a password. 

Immediately I said "Try my birthday. " 

ACCESS DENIED

"Her birthday? Today's date? Our full names?" 

ACCESS DENIED

"What about October 1st 2019?" supplied Octavia. 

ACCESS GRANTED; it was the date set for our Wedding. Our Unity Day, our ascension into each other's clans lawfully. With that knowledge another piece of my heart broke off. 

A video of Clarke flashed onto the screen, she looked drunk which made sense as it appeared to be filmed last night. She inhaled heavily and as she did so the breath rattled through her like wind attacking a skeleton. It hurt to listen to. Her angelic voice usurped my thoughts . 

" If you are accessing this hard drive then the plan to take down Jaha and Titus and serve justice to my family and Father has been set into motion. As of tonight 2 people know of this plan, as of Friday night 3 people will. Currently only myself and a man named Monty Green know the truth. On Friday an asshole named Finn Collins will receive a USB in the post similar to this. On it he will be told the truth. If you are seeing this video I must have died or the plan has failed." 

I paused the video as a knock echoed through the hours. We all looked uneasy so far this video or the USB stick didn't sound very good. I wanted to throw up, I wanted to run after Clarke and demand her to explain but most of all I wanted to send a swift kick to Dr Collins and now I wanted to castrate his Father Titus as well. Another knock reverberated through the halls, it sounded more impatient than the last. I stood up and soon so did the gang after they gathered that I was about to possibly do something stupid. On our way to the door each person grabbed a make shift weapon, I clutched tightly at an empty beer bottle. Among us we spotted several empty bottles of alcohol, a metal dish that once contained peanuts, a chair and a lamp. We stopped short at the door before opening it. I counted to three in my head before I ripped open the door and pulled the assailants inside. Anya closed the door and pressed her back to it. A short asain man in desperate need of a haircut cowered in front of me and to my right Dr Finn Collins struggled under Lincoln and his metal tray. 

"Who are you and what do you want?" I questioned with venom. 

"M-m-my name isss Monty, Monty Green. I'm here about Clarke and the USBs." He eventually managed to stutter out. I loosened my grip and turned to the others. I didn't know what to do. Clarke trusted this man and I trusted her. After receiving several nods from the others I let him go. Lincoln slowly let Collins down, but I didn't let him off that easily. I delivered a swift left knee to his crotch then I lifted his head so I could give him the gift of a well placed right hook to his nose.

Raven and Anya snickered whilst Bellamy and Octavia flat out laughed. I allowed a small smile to grcae my features.We moved back to the living room so we could question them further. 

"I'm here because I got a ping on one of the USBs. It shouldn't be here. At that I decided Finn needed to be brought in a bit earlier than planned." Monty quickly rattled out.

"I'm sorry Lexa, I didn't know. I--" he was cut off quickly by my glare.

"I don't care what you say Collins my concern is with Clarke and the fucking mess she appears to be in." I snapped harsh and sharp almost as though I were a drill commander.

" I think it's probably best if you let the video explain before I elaborate" replied Monty in a scared whimper.

I eyed him carefully then played the remainder of the video. 

"If that is the case, here's why I plunged my life into a fucking disaster. Around a month ago General Jaha and Major Fleimkepa approached me saying they had details on my Father's death. How it was all part of a government conspiracy. At first I believed them and I followed through with their wishes. That was all until around a month ago. This time they said that I needed to leave my life, my job and my identity behind. I didn't want to do that, of course Jaha and Titus disliked that. So naturally I did some digging. The results to that research will be found on this device but in a brief summary : they were part of the plot to kill my father. Soon they discovered what I found and threatened to kill all my family and friends and anyone I ever knew if I didn't enlist and become part of their special black ops team. I had no choice. I resigned from my job 3 weeks ago, today was my last day. I told no one as outlined in the file and today I broke Lexa's heart and mine. It truly is for the best. My family will survive unscathed and I will bring the patriarchy down. I couldn't let these people get away with what they do. Killing enlisted warriors who find out too much, before handing them over to a group known only as Maunom. Titus and Jaha have been the kingpins of all the highest criminal organisations for almost 20 years. They have their people everywhere and I'm going to take them down. I have partnered with Monty Green, a hacker I stitched up years ago and soon Finn Collins. Finn Collins is the adopted son of Titus Fleimkepa and should prove very useful to the operation. As for me, I will enlist and follow through with the plans of 'The City of Light' (the codename for Titus and Jaha's operations). Secretly I will gather as much dirt on them as possible and supply it back to Monty to use as leverage against Jaha and Titus. In the event that this fails I will kill the head of the snake and eliminate Jaha and Titus. Effectively I am going into a deep cover for a long time. Along the way I plan to recruit others but for this to succeed no one at home must know of my true plans. They must all hate me and act as though all is normal. I must now go, time is of the essence and every second counts to maintain my cover. If anything happens contact Monty Green or Finn Collins. "

I had no words. None of us did. Her plan truly was for the best. How could any of this happen?

I turned to Monty," I believe now is time for your elaboration"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed. I had a little debate over this chapter. I couldn't decide if I wanted a Finn redemption arch or to do Clarke's POV first or to have a time jump. I also didn't know whether I wanted Lexa to use the USB now or later... 
> 
> I eventually decided on this and as always comment any ideas ou guys have! Also sorry for any mistakes! 
> 
> May we meet again -,Wonder
> 
>  
> 
> P. S you guys have some awesome ideas and there is a lot of potential to weave it in with my ideas. Something was also brought up about Clexa healing. That may take a while but it will happen. I am thinking of doing some one - shots based off of the events before, during and after this fic set in its au. Tell me what you think but it could include a detailed story of the 1st meet and effectively Anya and Raven's wedding or the proposal etc...


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one might be a bit short, I am currently running on no sleep for 48 and a half hours! I'll try my best but please don't be upset.
> 
> As always the only thing that is mine is the plot line and au.

Lexa's POV

Monty scratched the back of his head before reaching into his backpack to lift out his laptop. 

"Clarke pretty much explains everything in her video all that you don't know is about the USBs. In total 4 were made, each designed to appear as a government USB stick. Clarke held two and Finn and I each held one. Clarke was supposed to attach one USB to the servers at the headquarters of the city of light, the other was set to be placed in Mt Weather-the home of the Maunon. Each USB is set to transfer any data recovered to each other USB. Finn and I use all of the data to build up a bigger database to combat their operations. The USBs always pinpoint the location it was plugged in so we know where to rescue Clarke if things go wrong. " Whilst elaborating on the more technical aspects of the plan he opened his USB and showed us a map with 3 blinking dots on them - each dot represented a USB plugged in to a source. Clarke hadn't checked in yet. He then navigated through terabytes of data and files. Clarke had already gathered soo much.

I was feeling very similar to a damn at this moment. And soon th damn would brake. All eyes settled on me, almost begging me to make a move, and make a move I did. I stood up with trembling feet and walked over to the kitchen counter. Shakily I grabbed a beer from the fridge and opened it on the side of the counter-top. I took a long languid swig from the refreshing liquid before opening my eyes and smacking my lips together thirstily.

I made sure to connect eyes with everyone before questioning with conviction " Whose ready to bring anarchy to the Arkadian Government?"

 

Clarke's POV

It had been a three hour drive to reach the airport but in the back of the uber it felt like days had passed. I hadn't ceased my crying once but now I needed to steeple my facade once more as I bravely made. My way to the terminal to await my flight. Tonight I flew to Station 13 where I would receive all of my military training in the next 3 months I would also receive "special" training before I would receive my first mission or deployment in October. 

This was going to be hard and trying, I wished someone knew at home. I hated lying, I hated hurting others and I hated not having support. My situation currently contained all three of those things. 

The gate had now opened to my flight and boarding had commenced. I dared not move. I wanted to savour the moment just a bit longer. This was most likely the closest I will ever be to Lexa again for at least a year. I relished in the fact that due to Lexa now being a well-known attorney I might be able to read about her in the newspaper every other week. I couldn't get the look of utter betrayal out of my mind. It was seared into my mind and I don't think any anything could expel that image. 

The tannoy called for all last guests for my flight to board. I chewed my lip softly and dragged my sorry ass over the gate along with my luggage. As I handed over the boarding pass the lady checking my details commented on how brave I was serving my country I gave a polite smile before continuing down the tunnel to the plane. As I trudged my hand drifted to the necklace now around my neck it contained the ring that belong in Lexa's delicate. Setting my jaw I silently vowed to every god or goddess that ever existed : My fight is not over. We will meet again Lexa, my love - but only when life is no longer about surviving. I will never stop until it happens. I will fight for as long as it takes to come back to you all I know currently is Jaha and Titus's goons will pay and loving will hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's so short but I needed a filler chapter before the next phase. Please let me know your thoughts on both the chapter and the idea of one shits as mentioned in the notes on the previous chapter. 
> 
>  
> 
> May we meet again, Wonder


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all enjoy it. This is set a few months after the last chapter. 
> 
> As always the only thing that is mine is the plot line and au world.

Lexa's POV

It had been two months since Clarke left, she still hadn't plugged her USB in yet and all my instincts were going haywire. Every single doubt possible raced constantly through my heart and mind every day. It was excruciating to act as though everything was ok when really nothing was, but I couldn't afford any weakness. Secretly over the pass couple of months I have taken Clarke's plans a step further. I formed a coalition with 13 clan heads to destroy the government. A lot of the neighbourhoods had descended into chaos once a few files were leaked. Mostly we bide our time, occasionally we do propaganda videos or leak a small file here an there. We believe to save our biggest files until Clarke returns so we can take it to the courtroom.

Each member of the coalition held a codename so we couldn't be detected easily, Raven had built her own radios so we could communicate more covertly. Meetings were always held at Polis Tower. Polis Tower used to be the largest political building in the state until the military moved away to the Ark Stations. It supplied the perfect advantage point and the caretaker for the tower, a kind girl called Maya, was on our side. On the third Thursday of every month and second Monday we would meet up and dicuss plans, strategies and check Monty's set up for Clarke's signal. At almost 3 months people were beginning to lose faith until tonight.

Tonight during a massive riot in Skaikru territory Clarke's USB came online. It was a miracle, Clarke had done it and we could move forwards with better attacks and more information. Bellamy was stood watch on the laptop that night and radioed everyone to know....

"Commader, Commander this is King. I repeat this is King.Over" 

"King, this is Commader. I have the General, Algae and the Mechanic with me. Over"

"Commander, Princess has made contact. Princess has made contact! Over"

I couldn't respond for several seconds. Clarke was alive, she may not be well but she was alive and that was enough for now. I smiled for the first time in a while as I replied.

"That's brilliant King. Send a message to Space Walker, Skairipa and Reaper. We on our way over and don't forget to get Reaper to sound the horn for an emergency Coalition meeting. Over."

"Will do Commander, Will do. King over and out"

I played the radio down and turned to the others they smiled wide and radiant back at me. I was so overwhelmed and I did something completely unexpected - I pulled them all in to a massive group hug and jump up and down screaming like a 13 year old with a crush. I couldn't help it, for once I had hope.

It took exactly twelve minutes for the coalition to assemble and sit around our large round table. Atop the table held mountains of new files. This ridiculous plan of Clarke's might work after all. We all looked upon the files with a greedy desire, the information they contained could forever destroy The city of light.

"The time has come, my friends, to go to war." hundreds of thousands of cheers and applause thundered through the tower as all 13 clans rejoiced. I look toward Dr Abby Griffin and Marcus Lane our newest additions and nodded. We will get our Clarke home soon.

 

Clarke's POV

It was almost 4 months since my plan was enacted. So far at station 13 I was placed into the Polaris division, many of them I trusted and most were on my side. Out of my division those who were trusted consisted of John Murphy (Cockroach), Echo Frost (ARCHER), Roan Frost (Prince), Emori Sahar (Theif), Luna Floun (Eight), Jasper Jordan (Goggles), Indra Pine (War Cheif), Gustus Pine (Guard) and Indra and Gustus's daughter Gaia Pine (Mother Nature// Flame Keeper). The only people we couldn't trust were Costia Wave and Charles Pike. However, with our line of work accidents were bound to occur. I am known as Skaiprisa and currently Polaris division hold the best success rate in the whole of Station 13 probably the Arkadian Millitia. Best of all no one suspected a thing and as of last week my flame (USB) made contact with the others. When I first arrived at the base I panicked because I had lost the other but recently I discovered Month had recovered the device. It posed some difficulties to future plans my I am confident a opportunity will present it self.

I was currently sitting on my camp bed in our Polaris bunker. It was 2100 so it was free time before evening training. I sat at the head of my bed drawing a picture of a sleeping Lexa. She always looked serene when she slept, like she wasn't holding the fate of hundreds of people's freedom on her back. She looked beautiful bit a picture would never do her justice. Whilst I drew I grabbed the chains around my neck, on the chain contained my dog tags and Lexa's ring. I always fiddled with it when I felt overwhlemed with emotion. If I was deep in thought I would toy with it out of habit. If I was nervous I would hold it against my chest tight. It was a small comfort in a hell like this.

"Lieutenant Griffin, your presence is needed in the medical tent"

I snapped to military mode and slammed my book shut before bolting to the medical tent and suiting up for a surgery. Tonight would be long, but it will be for the best - one day I will be home with Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick backstory for the last names of Echo, Roan, Emori and Costia. Echo and Roan both come from Azgeda its cold there so frosty :). Emori we met in a desert in the show so I was like the Sahari Dessert but then Emori Sahari sounded too weird I just went with Sahar. Costia I believe was part of a water type clan I can't particularly remember.   
> Also I hope that's an okay representation of a sleuthing Lexa. I may try to fit in a bit more soon.   
> May we meet again, - Wonder


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An even bigger time jump. I'm sorry if you wanted more in the middle but I have limited time before I go home and back to work :(. I'm trying to get it finished before I go back in a few days. Sorry if the story feels rushed or unfinished. I don't mind if others want to edit it or add their own spin. Hope y'all enjoy, au world and plot is all I own.

6 years later, just outside of of Station 13 Arkadia Military base...

 

Amassed outside of two huge 7ft tall electrified gates stood the coalition of the 13 clans but this time they weren't alone. The United Stations of the Ark had collected arms as well. The Commander now had both people and law behind her. Lexa and her group of merry warriors had gathered enough support and evidence to persuade the government to arrest Jaha and Titus. It had taken almost 6 and half years but victory was within the groups grasp so soon all the hardships would be worth it. Station 13 looked like a regular only army base, bunkers as far as the eye could see, heavy artillery and specialised vehicles ready to go all that was out of place were the screams.

Lexa's POV

Gunshots, explosions and screams. It was a cacophony of horror. Never before had something so danger actually happen to the coalition. I'd never had to murder someone. 15 minutes ago the coalition assembled but 8 minutes ago Polaris division began their attack from the inside. According to the plan we had approximately 3.25 minutes left before they would let us in. Time for a rousing speech that would put Shakespeare to shame...

"For too long these people have controlled our lives. They controlled what we eat and when we eat it. They control who gets the blame and who gets off scott free. They demand who lives and who dies. Without mercy or humanity they rip away our Fathers, Lovers, Mothers, Brothers, Sisters, Daughters, Sons, Grandchildren. They take your cousin and throw them away like an insignificant piece of shit. Well I say no. I say to hell with the liars. They can drown our streets in blood and taint them with ink but they can never quell our hope. We stand here united to take back our family, to take back our city and to take back our control. They can no longer go unpunished. Blood must have blood. "

Blood must have blood echoed as the combined forces chanted and pounded on their chests, waiting to draw their first blood. Its amazing how six years can change a person. Six years ago I was engaged and happy. Now I am dressed like a Amazonian queen braved for war.

The chanting died down as a group of individuals tan towards the gate. At first everyone raised their weapons, if six years had taught us anything it was never turn your back. As the group breeches the gate I scanned their left wrists. For each member of our informants their codename was tattooed on their left wrist. The tattoos were symbols that represented their names--Goggles had a pair of goggles, Archer had a bow and arrow, 8 had an 8-ball and so on. Our allies all wore a gas mask to conceal their true identities and help them with biological warfare. All of them checked iut but they were missing one - -

"Where's the Princess?"

Prince briefly looked away from the target he was shooting to reply "Buying us time."

"What do you mean buying us time? The plan was full proof!" Raven butted in - panicked but not hysterical yet. 

"Not quite Mechanic, not quite. We ran int some trouble in the form of Nia Frost. Wanheda, uh Princess volunteered to buy us time to get you through to Jaha and Titus" Roach spoke urgently but with an odd steely calmness.

Finally a click punctured barely audible over the cries of War. I gentl knocked the gate and I swayed. I turned to face my army then shouted - "FOR BLOOD!"

Today was the day. Today was finally the end.

Clarke's POV  
I lay almost defeated my Nia. She had pieced a dagger through my lower stermun and shot me six times in various places. I counted at least 9 broken bones, a collapsed lung, concussion, lots of internal bleeding, most likely vital organ loss and a possible cranial fracture. The odds were not in my favour. I struggled through endless spikes of pain through my body like electricity to grasp the ring beneath my tactical gear. 

Nia stood tall and smug as she hunched over my body. She laughed but to me it resembled more of a cackle from an old haggard witch.

"Well, well, well. Look what we have here. A little Princess far from her castle. What a shame huh? You could've done so much good in the world. Its a waste of talent really. Such a shame to loo--"

She couldn't finish her sentence as I grabbed the sword she had tucked in her right boot. First I cut her tendons then as she knelt before me I pulled back her head to stare at the sky one final time. Then I dragged her sword painstakingly - slowly across her neck before I stood back and with a well trained discipline I severed her head from her shoulders. Her limp body fell lifeless to the ground with a hollow thud.

"Thanks, but no thanks darling. You're just not my type." I always had to have the final word. However, it was a very unhealthy idea to exert myself, this could cause t major problems such as a rash, a cranky me later or a dead body. Nevertheless a large battle cry rang out screaming for blood. With that I skewered Nia's head to the head of her sword whilst I began the long shuffle to Jaha and Titus's string base at the centre of the compound. 

Lexa's POV

The coalition now stood in Jaha and Titus's stronghold. It was a vast building. It resembled that of a temple or church from the good old days. It had may stained glass windows portraying the story of The City of Light. Red carpets with golds strimmings paved our way as an army triumphant marched to the console in the centre. It wasn't much of a stronghold when my army outnumbered them 7:1. Although, currently it still seemed as though Titus and Jaha had other plans. They both clutched a key which was plugged into the console. They had a light in their eyes than no man should. And their smirks couldn't get any uglier.

"Give it up Thelonias, Titus. You can't win" I tried to be diplomatic, but alas it was never my strong suit.

Jaha spoke first with unbridled confidence, " But toy see dear Commander it is not. We do not care for a win, nor our survival just purity for our Earth." Those who were suicidal were never a good omen. It meant they had nothing to lose. No bargain. No leveregde. No rules just a snap decision.

Titus spoke next with a scratchy tone that makes your skin crawl," The movement we turn these keys we all die. Not just us. The entire planet, cleansed as from all impurities. Move an inch and Prainfaya occurs earlier than anticipated."

"Praimfaya? What is that?"

"The end of all life, animal, human and plant. The release of 267,000 atomic bombs on to the unsuspecting population of Earth."

"So that's your plan is it? To play God and fool around with higher powers?" my voice raised a few octaves as I spoke their plan shocked me beyond belief. 

"Except it won't work." I smirked I know that voice anywhere. The coalition parted like the red sea to allow Princess through. She looked awful; ready to drop at any second. In her right hand she held a sword with a severed head oozing at the end in the floor. Itooked as though she used the sword and head as a waking stick.

"Your plan," she continued, "Would only work if all 3 switched are turned simultaneously but as of 876 seconds ago your third party decided to take a lovely vacation to headless paradise." With her last words she threw down the head to reveal Nia Frost starting blankly at the ceiling. The whole hall gasped and I strides forward with restraints. I smirked full and smugly as I said

" General Thelonias Abel Jaha and Major Titus Alexander Fleimkepa I sentence you to death by a thousand cuts. The power was placed upon me my the people and reformed coalition of the 13 clans. You are herby stripped of your tiles as General and Major respectively and any decorum your earned is null and void. You better prepare yourselves to die. "

We did it we finally did it. Six fucking years is all it took. I smiled the brightest I had in six years as I turned around to great our saviour but my smile fell instantly as I rushed to her collapsing side. I slide under her body catching her quickly. I pulled out the dagger in her abdomen and yanked her mask of her before throwing all her apparel far away. 

"Clarke sat with me. Baby look at me. I love you." I whispered through sobs as I clutched her and rocked slowly.

All I heard was a faint, "Lexa," before my love shut her eyes that shined like nebulas above.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to end around chapter 10 maybe 12. You guys can always imagine more or continue bits. You can adapt this work and make it your own!
> 
> May we meet again, - - Wonder


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As usual guys I am sorry if this feels rushed or unfinished. I do have limited time and I'm sorry if I let you guys down. I hope you guys feel okay to carry on reading or take this fic and make it your own.

Lexa's POV

It had been 19 hours 34 minutes and 17 seconds since Clarke had entered surgery. 14 minutes ago Dr Griffin approached our little gang to give us news. It was neither good nor bad. Clarke was out of surgery and currently stable but since none of us were listed as next of kin we were trapped in the waiting room for another 5 hours.

"Lexa, just try and sit still, or better yet sleep for a few hours." Anya placed a calming hand over mine and dragged me to sit next to her. Somehow through everything Anya could always ground me, I suppose it's because when we grew up she was always there for me even when our parents appeared absent.

I sighed and cuddled into her side as she wrapped her strong arms around me. I broke quickly after that and sobbed into her shoulder. Raven came and placed a hand on my shoulder as she began to cry as well, Octavia soon joined us and eventually the whole gang we huddled and cried in the middle of Trikru State Hospital. After several staff came to check up on us we calmed down and began to get comfortable enough to try and drift off to sleep.

Just as my eyelids began to droop a group of at least a dozen people came rushing through. Most of them were dressed in military uniforms, etched on their wrists were tattoos with familiar symbols except there were two people out of place.... a little girl around 12 with long dark brown hair and a woman almost 30 that stood protectively near the girl. In fact, all of the soldiers subtly surrounded the girl as if she was a member of the royal family. If their suspicious behaviour hadn't made me curious before their next words did.

"We're here for Commander Clarke Abigail Griffin. We should be on her next of kin list. This is Maddi Rebecca Griffin and I'm Sargeant Echo Isabella Frost." The group still had blood splatters on their uniforms the girl - Echo was our informant Archer. I stood up and wandered over to them. 

" Ahh yes, I see your names. You're just in time she recently woke up; I must warn you that she is fragile and only 3 are allowed in at a time. She is in room 307, head down the hall, two rights, one flight of stairs then the first door on your left. I need you all to sign in before you enter her room." said Dr Marcus Lane as he handed over a clipboard to Archer and Maddi. They both signed their names and handed it back to Marcus. 

" I'm sorry Sergeant there are only two names here, will you need a third? " 

" Yes, " Maddi replied with unexpected confidence, "Lexa Woods will be the third." She turned towards me and moved aside so I could reach the clipboard. I couldn't wipe the shock off my face but I hungrily accepted and whispered a quiet "Thank you." before I followed them to room 307.

As the doors to Clarke's room stood in front of us I hesitated. It had been six years since we'd properly spoken and the last we did it didn't exactly end well. Maddi saw my doubt and reached for my hand. She was so kind and reminded me of Clarke, she smiled sweetly before pulling me inside with her. Once my foot graced the threshold of the room Maddi let go of my hand and ran to Clarke before stopping to grab her. 

"Mum you're okay. I was soo worried for you!" 

Clarke chuckled and pulled her closer, "I am a survivor my little Nachtblida of course I would fight to come back to you." 

Mum. Mum? 

Clarke was this child's mum? A lot had really changed in six years. I started to back away but her voice stopped me. 

"Lexa?" I paused. It was broken and fragile and sounded as though she would cry at any minute. I couldn't turn around, it was traumatic enough to see her plugged into soo many machines but to step in in her family was too much. Archer was probably her new wife. "Lexa, please look at me." 

I could never deny her. I turned around slowly never meeting her eyes. "Lexa, my love, look at me." A lump formed in my throat preventing me from breathing properly as I lifted my eyes to meet hers. I let out a large cry as they met then I rushed to join a group hug with her and Maddi. 

She had changed so much. Her skin was tanner and her body was more built. She had cut her hair to shoulder length and one strand of red broke through her blonde ringlets. Her cheeks were slightly sullen and her eyes looked hollow. They told a million stories and none seemed good. I clung rightly to her scar-ridden body and inhales her scent. She smelled of death, hospital and gunpowder - not what she used to but it screamed Clarke now. Her right arm came to wrap around my body as she to started to sob as well. Her tattoo lay just over my left shoulder blade. 

"It's okay Lexa. I'm home. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I never cheated you. I love you too much for that, I--I could never do that to yo-" 

"I know. I know darling I've known since you left that day. I love you soo much and next time if a shitty government conspiracy tries to recruit you, you tell me straight away. No more secrets." 

She broke away just enough to smile at me and nod before I said." I think we both have some explaining to do. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I might be able to stretch this fic to 10 chapters. I'm sorry if it doesn't live up to expectations, I am running out of time before I go back to work. If you guys want it different feel free to write your own based on mine.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is penultimate chapter! I'm sorry I couldn't take this chapter any further. I would've like to write a story that total to about 80,000 words but I really don't have the time! I'm sorry if you feel hard done by. Feel free to adopt the fic and expand! Chapter 10 will be the last and since I have decided to actually input Maddi I'm afraid no smut will appear.
> 
> Only the plot is mine completely!

Clarke's POV

Maddi left 3 hours ago with Echo because Lexa and I need to talk. To be honest everything seems too good to be true and I can't believe Lexa is kting  
lying here in my arms. She was exhausted and fell asleep soon after she arrived. That was 5 hours ago. I don't want t wake her up, she always appeared peaceful and happy when asleep. During the day she's a mini Atlas - always carrying the weight of the world. At night she sleeps with a small smile it's almost a smirk but it's amazing because she trusted me enough t see her so vulnerable now I don't think she ever can fully commit to trusting me again.

"Hey beautiful, you're thinking to loud. What's up?" How? How was her voice even sexier than I remember? Gods I wanted to kiss her now. It didn't need to be special I have just craved her for so long. My bones ache for her touch and my very souls requires her attention to function. Even torture didn't hurt as much as staying away from her.

Lexa, my sweet Lexa had seen my internal dilemma and decided it was amusing to just hover out of reach and smirk. She was amused but eventually she got impatient and leaned in so her breath tickled my upper lip. She was so close but yet so far. Whilst never breaking eye contact onec she seductively murmed, "Well Princess, aren't you going to kiss me?"

I needed no further encouragement and surgered forward to meet her waiting lips. When they met there was no spark, no fireworks no eruption of passion. It was familiar, welcoming and it felt like home. Our lips moved in tandem like it hadn't been six years since they last touched. Our breaths intermingled and our tongues soaked in every edge of each others' mouyhs  
mouths. It was paradise. I pulled her closer to me, desiring more of her. We broke the kiss to stare at each others eyes. Both looked broken but a little piece had been put back in place.

"As much as I love that and you we need to talk." logically my words were true but part of me hoped Lexa would just keep on kissing me. My Commander looked as dissatisfied as I did my resigned and moved to sit in front of me with our hands still connected.

" You're right. When you left six years ago you tripled and lost one of your USBs. The gang and I watched it then Monty found us. We started strategically letting info slip. 4 years ago we managed to unite all of the 13 clans to fight Jaha and Titus. A few months ago the government joined us. We had been conversing with you via the encrypted messaging system on the USB. I never knew if it was you I was actually talking to. I never lost hope. I knew you were right no matter what and we would see each other again. That's pretty much my six years in a nutshell. I still love you - I physically can't stop it's impossible I yearn for you. " I squeezed her hand letting her kkow I understood before I pulled her into another bone-crushing hug. 

" My six years were a bit different. " I sat back and toyed with her hands, what I have to say could change her view of me forever. She may never love me. I've changed I become a monster.

"Hey," soft fingers traced my clenched jaw before tilting my head up to meet hers. She swiped a some hair behind my ear before clutching my cheek and whispering, "Whatever it is Princess you can tell me. I love you and no matter what the fucked up psychos forced you to do I will still love you."

I leaned into her tender touch a tear escaped then I grabbed her hand and layes in it my lap with the other.

"When I left I had to train for months to become the perfect soldier. At first I was nick named Princess like normal because its what you guys called me on the USB, so I tattooed a crown on m wrist like the rest of mybl disvison. Two years after I enlisted I was sent on a rescue mission to Mt Weather, I succeeded and my target was free. I didn't get so lucky. I ws trapped in that shitty hell hole for a year. I spent so long getting tortured my body is now 35% scar tissue. Eventually I managed to escape with 300 prisoners but it cost to leave. I irradiated their mountain and killed 2,780 people. I became death. I was a monster. That's when I earned the title 'Wanheda' it's Trigadesleng for Commander of death. Its why I now have a skull with a crown. I adopted Maddi after that mission she was an orphan and we had bonded over the last year. I sen hero live in a safe house called the 'Dropship' with Nylah while I returned to service. M entire unit was feared and as years increased m death tally reach almost 10,000 lives. Nia made it 9,789. I'm sick and twisted and there's so much more but I can't explain not now. Not whole I've ink just got you back. "

Lexa's POV

I can't belive this. Jaha and Titus will pay. They will be buried in the farthest unmarked grave where rabid animals can tear them apart at night. The deserve t rot in the darkest pits of Purgatory for their sins. The officially broken my Clarke. I had been quiet for a while now and Clarke was starting get uneasy and fidgety. She tried t withdraw her hands. I held on tighter and looked up at her. 

"This Trigadesleng? Can you teach it to me I want to learn more about it. About your life and about Maddi's and everyone out in that hallway. Please?"

Clarke's smile could've broken the power grid with its radiance. "Of course try this : Will Yu marry Ai Leksa Kom Trikru? It means Will you marry me Lexa Woods from Trikru clan?"

I threw my arms around her. I laughed giddy and gleeful as though we were young and in love for the first time. I kissed her hard, long and good. Toying with her just how I know will tempt her. I leant my forehead against hers and opened my eyes, my arms still encased her neck. "How do you say I do?"

Clarke didn't answer with words just her mouth. I didn't mid her mouth said plenty in all the right ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! When Clarke and Lexa reunited last chapter it was in June! So this is in June. Almost exactly 6 yrs to the day. Sorry for any mistakes! 
> 
> May we meet again -. Wonder


	10. Loving did hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guys this is it! Clexa wedding and the end to a tragedy. If you want o expand on this fic please do, I know there is a lot to improve. Thank you for reading this far.

Clarke's POV

I stood in front of a full length mirror whilst my closest family and friends smiled as I smooth all the invisible creases in my teal dress. My makeup was traditional Skaikru warrior markings - they looked like blue bird wings around my eyes (think Clarke and Lexa 3x03). It was almost time to walk down my aisle. It took so long to get here to get to October 1st 2025.

A soft, little hand tugged at my arm and I turned around and knelt so I could look my daughter in the eyes. She smiled big and bright and her eyes sparkled soo much that it looked like there were galaxies hidden in her eyes.

"You ready Mum?" she was far too eager; almost as eager as me. Over the past 4 months she and Lexa had bonded quickly and strongly. They had very similar personalities - stubborn and curious with an affinity for candles. I chuckled then tucked a braided strand of hair back into place.

"Sha Ai Strik Nachtblida." (=Yes, my little Night blood) With that I stood back up and gave myself a final check. I looked good. I grabbed the bouquet from my mum. Then I got into place. As the first notes of 'Take A Life With Me' echoed in the 26th floor of Polis Tower I grabbed Maddi's hand tighter as I took a step forward. I had opted for Maddi to walk me down the aisle because today is the day my life starts a new and Maddi will be a huge part of that. Behind me stood my maids of honor - Raven, Octavia and Echo. After my maids stood my division all decked in the finest Arkadia Military Uniform. Technically Echo and I should be as well but tradition was never my thing.

The hall had a high ceiling and intricate wall designs due to its ancient architecture. It was quite dark all that really lit the room were thousands of candles (held my each of our guests) and one stained glass window behind the altar and my love.

I faltered in my steps slightly upon seeing her and it didn't go unnoticed - some small laughs rang through the air probably mostly from Bellamy and John. My very soon-to-be-wife looked incredible. Instead of the suit she wore to Anya and Raven's wedding she wore a dress that resembled her commander outfit. Perfectly show casing her tatttos, tan and muscles. It was mostly black but she had a sash of red and underskirt that match. Her hair was braided in traditional ascension patterns from her clan just as I had braided mine. Her eyes no longer held war paint but they were still decorated as a warrior. I smiled so much that I think I broke my jaw.

 

Lexa's POV

I was a nervous wreck before Clarke entered the room, my best people Lincoln and Anya weren't helping much. They just laughed claiming all would be well. I didn't believe them. That was until Clarke stumbled into the room lookin like a goddess. My eyes stared welling but this time it was due to happiness. In all of my dreams, yes I had dreamed about this moment a lot, never could any of them match this moment. 

Time seemed to stop as I focused on her. In reality it hadn't because she was suddenly in front of me a Maddi was giving me a half-serious shovel talk. I laughed at her but then she turned and did the same to Clarke. I knew I had bonded with Maddi but I didn't believe it was this much. I stated to tear up again. Once Maddi left I clung to Clarke as she wiped away my tears as I did for her also. Today was the day now was the time.

Narrator POV

Marcus Kane had been specifically chosen to perform the ceremony, each woman claiming that it wouldn't be right without a Kane performing the ceremony. 

"Dearly Beloved we are gathered here to bear witness to the union of Alexandra Alicia Woods kom Trikru and Clarke Abigail Griffin kom Skaikru. After many years full of trials and tribulations we finally stand together to help these wonder women, leaders friends and family ascend to their new life together as one. "  
He stood back and grabbed a green length of ribbon before turning to Lexa." Your clans vows if you will.. " 

Lexa got onto her knees and bowed before Clarke with her right arm attached to Clarke's left. As Lexa began her vows Marcus wrapped the ribbon around their intertwined arms. "I, Lexa kom Trikru, Commander of the 13 clans hereby swear fealty to you Clarke kom Skaikru. I swear to love and hold you through all of our lives even the next. I promise to look after you in sickness and health and everywhere in between. You are my earth, my forest, my sun and sky.Yu are Ain Kom we Ai Set klin Gon Yu (=You are mine as I am yours) . If you will accept my clan as your own."

Marcus turned to Clarke before asking" Do you Clarke accept a bond to Trikru clan in name, blood and loyalty? "

Clarke answered quickly without hesitation," Sha, I do. "

Marcus chuckled again as he grabbed a blue length of ribbon," Now for your clans vows if you will... "

Clarke dropped to her knees and lifted Lexa's chin up with her free hand so their eyes could meet. Again, as she spoke her vows Marcus wrapped the ribbon around their intertwined hands "I, Clarke kom Skaikru, Commander of Death hereby swear fealty to you Lexa kom Trikru. I swear to protect and love you with ever essence of my being in this life and all after it. I promise to love and serve you whilst treating you with respect and trust. You are my equal. You are my sky, my stars, my world and my rock. Yu are Ain Kom we Ai Set klin Gon Yu . If you claim my clan as your own. "

Marcus placed his hand on Lexa's shoulder as he asked," Do you Lexa accept a bond to Skaikru clan in name, blood and loyalty?"

Lexa replied with shaky breath," Sha, I do. "

Marcus clapped delighted," Now before their final ascension is their anyone who should disrupt this sacred bond?" Not even wind objected.

"Very well then," Marcus held both hands tightly around the arms of the lovers he spoke and said, "My the power passed down through generations I know entitle you to each other in every way. You are one. You have ascended. You may now kiss - -"

The wives grew too impatient and couldn't wait until Marcus finished. At first the hall thundered into applause, cheers, shouts and a few whistles. Once they had broken apart they turned hand in hand to walk back down the aisle into their new lives. As customary the guests grew silent and raised their candles. Those in military uniform took off their headgear and formed and arch for the newly weds to walk through. 

 

That day these two women learnt that yes loving does hurt but so does living and without that they wouldn't be human.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp that's it, hope y'all enjoyed it. Sorry if you didn't :( I tried my best in the situation. I made up the ritual myself bsed off of actual weddings, Dumbledore's death scene and episode 3x03. The vows are mine. To be honest I kind of want this wedding now. 
> 
> May we meet again. Wonder.
> 
> P.S Bellamy and Echo are together, emori and John are as well as Maya and Jasper. Minty also manged to meet a certain flight sergeant Harper at the wedding :)

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the start of the story, it will get better, I have some plans for this. If the writing it self hurt feel free to constructively criticise, emphasis on constructively. I left a few little hints at other fandoms and little easter eggs from the 100, if you can spot them let me know! If people like the start I'm thinking I could probably take this to about 10 maybe 15 chapters, it all depends.
> 
> May we meet again. - Wonder


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